Mind is Fucked.

I've been neglecting this vomit bag. My excuse is that I have been busy with school work and what not, but I have decided that right now it will not do because this is the absolute most perfect time to return to Naff Kakistocracy because I am at this very moment making Nelaga and I am waiting for my meat to become tender. Hopefully the Flip dish I'm making will be good because I am in need of some good food that is made by me. I have found out that a kitchenette does not neccessarily make the production of delicious food easy. Something about the limited space transfers to limited good food, but just like everything else, in the words of Tim Gun from Project Runway, I have just got to "make it work."

That has the potential to become very interesting.

I wish my monthly state of death and destruction was predictable. Something like, the week before, after,but preferably during my period. It just hit me a few hours ago...I think, those moods not my period. I don't think I am thinking all that clearly right now because I have these thoughts that, at this very moment, matter to me that normally would not even cross my mind or if it did it would simply be in passing. I hate that overwhelming feeling of having no one to turn to, that feeling that I am not loved and hence do not matter hence..., when I know that there are people out there who do love and care for me. I hate even more the obligatory bloating, which then leads to the decrease in self esteemed hotness.

I do not look forward to those days when absolutely none of the clothes I have will do. Those days when your clothes, and not you, are what are supposed to make you look beautiful. I abhor those days when even the most insignificant person's negative attitude has such a down pouring effect on how I feel about everything. Not to mention those days where I am nowhere close to one hundred percent that I feel that I am an object that needs to be compared. And I can not stand those days when I think, in whatever regard, I am hopeless because in no way am I. I think I can understand where all these thoughts come from but I do not comprehend why they all have to be blown way out of proportion. That is complete bullshit.

Our biology can be a cruel cruel thing.

Malodorous manure eventually bring about awesome fruit trees, so in the natural order of things, I proceed with more positive things in bullet points.

• My steering of sail boats have much improved and I am great in jiving. Today I lapped a few boats at the harbor.
• In my sailing class, there's a guy who I think I might like to get to know better.
  
• Also in sailing, I accidentally hit a guy in the head with the boom while I was trying to pop the battens. Thats not neccesarily positive, it was funny though. And I did apologize. The positive thing about it is that after that incident my batten popping has now become improved and is finessed.
  
• I have found one gorgeous peice of eye candy in my math class who looks so all american perfect he might as well be Ken, but not in the gross way.
• The explosion of glass in my studio has been vaccuumed, finally.
• I have started regularly taking bubble baths at least 3 times a week.
• Having a place to myself is fabulous.
  

In other news:

• I need to stretch a pair of shoes. Fashion will not win this time if I don't.
• I can't get my free vibrator to work.
• With the full moon, the tide is high and the seals are having no trouble getting onto the wharf.
  
• I wanna take you to the GAY BAR GAY BAR gay bar.

I am still bitter and resent that bouncer.



Guess who's not going to the gay bar.